My Warmup to being assessed as a Psychodramatist

by Ali Watersong

My warmup to being assessed as a psychodramatist has been a long journey over many years - at times difficult, at times exhilarating. Having completed all the requirements to conduct a practical assessment, my last few weeks of leading up to  November 5th, 2008, became a focussed, intense and challenging time.

In the months previously I had confronted some major role tests to do with standing alone and maintaining my own authority.

Two or three weeks before “D-Day” I suffered a severe anxiety attack lasting for several days. My panic hit the roof and I could scarcely breathe! On the fourth night I dreamed that there was a threatening presence in my bedroom and saw a figure standing at the end of my bed. I felt paralysed with terror, sensing evil intent, and as the figure moved down beside the bed I knew that I somehow had to move and use my voice. With tremendous effort I forced myself to scream and woke myself up. From then on my anxiety started to dissipate and I called on all my resources and skills to manage this part of my warmup.

Finally November 5th dawns – not bright and clear, but stormy and raining with snow forecast for Banks Peninsula. I re-arrange my usual early morning walk to later in the day, when I go up on the Port Hills out towards Godley Head above Taylors Mistake. The sky clears briefly as I walk for half an hour to the top of the hill. A tiny patch of blue sky is surrounded by billowing towers of storm clouds. Sheep with their new lambs bound through the wet tussock, and high above, a skylark sings its song of joy.

Here, way above the city, the plains and the sea, I call on the four directions to guide me and support me in this supreme challenge. Facing to the south towards Te Ahu Patiki (Mt Herbert), the highest point on this volcanic crater's rim, I ask for grounding, centering and ancient wisdom from the earth of the south. To the west, as I look across Whangaraupo  (Lyttelton Harbour) I can see  Waihora (Lake Ellesmere) shimmering silver-grey and I ask for the courage to dive deep into feeling, to trust and to be fluid as the water of the west. To the north the sun shines warmly and strongly in an azure sky for this brief interlude before the clouds close in again. I ask for passion, creativity and my internal fire to be ablaze and supported by fire of the north. As I turn to the east, gazing over an expansive teal-blue shading to royal blue ocean extending for miles to the horizon, a light breeze fans my face. I call on air of the east for lightness of touch, for playfulness and for the ability to have an overview and farsight. At that moment Kahu (Australasian Harrier Hawk) appears soaring on the updrafts, dancing on the wind! It is a sign!

I give thanks and turn and stride down the hill, feeling my strength, and as each boot-clad foot makes contact with the earth, I know to the core of my being that “I am ready. There is nothing more I can do to prepare”.

That evening, twelve companions gather at the Cashmere Masonic Centre to assist in the completion of this journey, just up the road from where I grew up, next to the primary school I attended and in the Masonic Lodge that my father attended.  As the hail and rain lash the windows, social atom repair occurs as my new world of openness, expansiveness and light meets my old world of darkness, secretiveness and contraction.

As people arrive, the celebration of the news that Barack Obama  has been elected president of USA precedes my own celebration, three hours later, when Viv Thomson announces that I have passed my practical assessment and I am now a psychodramatist!

Ali’s Waiwaiata
by Bronwen, Tania, Gillian and Don
(To the tune of “There is a House in New Orleans”)

There is a girl from Lyttelton,
She’s run a million groups;
She never thought she’d make the grade
But now she’s through the hoops!

She’s run “Emerging Amazon”,
She’s climbed a thousand peaks;
And then she meets Kay Rosaline
- discovers what she seeks.

The learning it was hard and steep,
She cried a billion tears,
The end was always out of sight
- ’twas time to conquer fears !

She doubled, mirrored, role reversed,
She concretised the scenes;
She’s shown the world she’s adequate
- a psychodrama queen!

This day now brings your finest hour,
Your hero’s journey run;
With all your peers gathered round,
You now stand in the sun!!